Why People Fail to Get What They Want in Life: The Hidden Barriers

Have you ever wondered why some people struggle to achieve their goals and aspirations, despite their best efforts? The truth is, many of us are held back by unconscious patterns of thinking and believing that sabotage our progress. In this blog, we'll explore the role of core negative beliefs and limiting beliefs in hindering our success, and how understanding our values can help us overcome these obstacles.

The Power of Core Negative Beliefs

Core negative beliefs are deeply ingrained, unconscious patterns of thinking that shape our perception of ourselves and the world around us. These beliefs can develop from childhood experiences, trauma, or cultural conditioning, and often manifest as negative self-talk, self-doubt, and fear. Research suggests that core negative beliefs can have a profound impact on our behaviour, influencing our relationships, career choices, and overall wellbeing (1).

For example, someone with a core negative belief that "I'm not good enough" may struggle to assert themselves in social situations or take risks in their career, fearing rejection or failure. Similarly, someone with a core negative belief that "I'm not worthy of love" may sabotage their relationships or settle for unhealthy partnerships.

The Role of Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are specific, restrictive thoughts that hold us back from achieving our goals. These beliefs can be conscious or unconscious and often stem from past experiences, cultural norms, or societal expectations. Research has shown that limiting beliefs can significantly impact our motivation, confidence, and overall performance (2).

For instance, someone with a limiting belief that "I'll never be able to lose weight" may struggle to stick to a diet or exercise routine, despite their best intentions. Similarly, someone with a limiting belief that "I'm not smart enough" may shy away from pursuing higher education or taking on new challenges.

The Influence of Values

Our values play a crucial role in shaping our beliefs and behaviours. When our actions align with our values, we feel motivated, fulfilled, and purposeful. However, when our values conflict with our beliefs, we may experience inner turmoil, anxiety, or depression.

Research suggests that identifying and aligning with our core values can increase our sense of purpose, motivation, and overall wellbeing (3). For example, someone who values freedom and autonomy may struggle with a job that offers little creative control or flexibility. By recognising this value mismatch, they can begin to explore new career opportunities that align with their values.

Breaking Free from Core Negative Beliefs and Limiting Beliefs

So, how can we overcome these hidden barriers and achieve our goals? The first step is to become aware of our core negative beliefs and limiting beliefs. This requires introspection, self-reflection, and a willingness to confront our deepest fears and insecurities.

With the right support and guidance, individuals can learn to identify and challenge their negative beliefs, develop a growth mindset, and align their values with their goals and behaviours. This can lead to increased self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-compassion.

Hope for a Brighter Future

The good news is that it's never too late to make a change. With the right tools and support, individuals can overcome their core negative beliefs and limiting beliefs, and achieve their goals. We offer a safe and non-judgmental space for individuals to explore their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, and provide guidance on how to break free from these hidden barriers.

If you're struggling to achieve your goals or feeling held back by negative patterns of thinking, we encourage you to reach out and contact us for help. Together, we can work towards a brighter, more fulfilling future.

Contact Us

Ready to break free from core negative beliefs and limiting beliefs? Contact us today to take the first step towards a brighter, more fulfilling future.

References:

(1) Hofmann, S. G., Asnaani, A., Vonk, I. J., Sawyer, A. T., & Fang, A. (2012). The efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy: A review of meta-analyses. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 36(2), 147-155.

(2) Kray, J., Lühmann, D., & Waaijenborg, S. (2010). The role of limiting beliefs in the development of depression. Journal of Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 38(2), 161-173.

(3) Parks, L., & Guay, R. P. (2017). The role of core values in goal-setting and motivation. Journal of Applied Psychology, 102(5), 641-655.